Mitt the Bully

 

 For the past day or so, the Washington Post has been reporting that in 1965 Mitt Romney and five others he went to school with chose to commit an act of bullying toward a young man that was gay, that dressed differently and wore his hair in a way that apparently enraged Romney.

“He can’t look like that. That’s wrong. Just look at him!” an incensed Romney told Matthew Friedemann, his close friend in the Stevens Hall dorm, according to Friedemann’s recollection. Mitt, the teenage son of Michigan Gov. George Romney, kept complaining about Lauber’s look, Friedemann recalled. A few days later, Friedemann entered Stevens Hall off the school’s collegiate quad to find Romney marching out of his own room ahead of a prep school posse shouting about their plan to cut Lauber’s hair. Friedemann followed them to a nearby room where they came upon Lauber, tackled him and pinned him to the ground. As Lauber, his eyes filling with tears, screamed for help, Romney repeatedly clipped his hair with a pair of scissors." 

Last night I watched this segment on Rachel Maddow.



For the first time since Sandra Fluke was denied her turn to speak,  I could not sleep. I lay awake, infuriated at Mitt's voice as he laughed about the terrible things he did to the kids he bullied in high school, the dog he claimed to love suffering inhumane abuse, and his father putting unknown numbers of people out of work.  This is vile behavior. 
The assault as a teenager specifically bothers me.  To hear that he hurt someone this way makes a deep thunder roll in my heart.  I don't know how he can laugh, or claim that this was a "funny prank." His insane sense of humor is dangerous, it should be a loud and blaring alarm. It should be seen as a symptom of his terrible character and the fact that he is completely unfit to lead our country. 
Look at the video above again, and watch him laugh that cruel heartless laugh.  Doesn't the idea of him being in charge of anything you hold dear frighten you?  Let's face the facts.  He laughs because he thinks it's funny.   He laughs because he doesn't feel shame. Mitt Romney remembers this.  He doesn't feel guilt.  He lies and claims amnesia because he knows that what he did will be viewed negatively by those of us who are human beings.  He justifies lying to us because he seems to see our empathy and outrage as our failing instead of his.
This is not ok.  This is not even a little bit ok.  This is a whole lot wrong.
We live in a country where every 78 seconds a teen in the US tries to commit suicide because of bullies like Mitt Romney.  Every 90 seconds, a teen is successful in leaving a parent to bury their child.  I think that Mitt ought to stand up, strap on a spine, and address this country with humility as he explains that yes, he does remember what he did to that young man in high school.  He should tell us that he knows it was flat out wrong, unacceptable behavior.  He should say that he doesn't care that he was young, or what the mood of society was then because he sees now that it was wrong and he has no tolerance for such behavior. 
Instead... Mitt Romney thinks back on the day he terrorized another human being for being different, and he laughs while he lies to us about it.
America, wake up.
The GOP seems to have a mental illness in their choice of putting up Mitt Romney against Barack Obama for the presidency of our fine country.  The fact that this is the guy that is being considered to lead our nation should be recognized as nothing more than a symptom of the sickness that has taken over.   Their obsession with hatred, is leaking out of every pore of Mitt's body.
How can we consider Romney and Obama for the same office? It's like being offered a maggot on a leaf or a finely prepared steak for supper. There is no question.  These two men are so far apart in character and quality that I wonder how it is possible that they are considered for the same job.  Compare the events of the last 48 hours, on one issue and I rest my case.  Barack Obama chose to take the politically difficult, but righteous path of supporting gay marriage.  Mitt Romney was exposed as a hateful lying bully who chooses gay kids as his victims.  It is clear Romney vs Obama shouldn't even be a competition, should it? 
Please, don't let this heartless bully be the leader of our nation. 
Watch this video, released in 2010, and remind yourself why we must all vote for Barack Obama in November 2012!  He isn't the bully.  He's the guy who stands up to the bully.

Hey China! Back off Gary Locke!

There are several exciting stories developing out of China today, but while I find the issue of Chen Guangcheng's cry for help absolutely fascinating and I want to write about him, I feel that I owe Gary Locke my voice today.
According to Seattle Weekly, Gary Locke has been painted as a troublemaker by the Chinese government for, "buying his own coffee, staying at a four-star instead of a five-star hotel and actually talking to the press."   The communist controlled news media in China had the Bejing Daily reporting that he was faking this demure personality in an attempt to fool them into believing he isn't a typical greedy American.  "Ever since he flew in economy class, carrying his own back pack and buying coffee with coupons, putting on a charade of being a regular guy, what we have seen is not an ambassador to China who is prudent in his words and actions, but a standard-issue American politician who goes out of his way to stir up conflict." 
In response to this, I must speak up.  Gary Locke is perhaps, one of the greatest men I have had the privilege to know.  Let me tell you about him.
In 1999 I was being bullied at school in Olympia, Washington.  It was so bad that I would often wake to a call from the school board telling me that it was unsafe for me to come to school.  The board members would take turns delivering my homework to my house, after bomb threats were called in to my school mentioning my name.  I had spent several years appealing to every adult in my life from teachers, to police, to judges and district attorneys.  At that time, there were no laws to protect me, and I lived my life in fear and sorrow.
One morning, while my peers attended regular classes, and my parents were at work, I wrote a letter of desperation, begging for help.  I took it down to the state capital building, and hand delivered it to Governor Gary Locke's office.  I went home, I didn't say a word to anyone about my secret lifeline.  It felt like a wish that might not come true if I told someone.  One evening, perhaps two days later, Gary's wife called my house.  She said that Gary had gotten my letter, she gave me a list of names of my representatives.  She told me that the governor had already talked to them about me, and they were expecting my call.  Most importantly, she assured me that both she, and her husband, valued me as a human being.  She promised that things would get better long before that was a popular phrase.

That is me on the far left (as always).  In the red suit in the back row left of center is Superintendent of Public Schools, Terry Bergeson and on the far right is then Attorney General and now Governor Christine Gregoire.  Front and center is then Governor and now US Ambassador to China, Gary Locke.  I apologize for the poor quality of the picture, it's a cell phone picture of a photo.

Suspiciously, the school board launched a sexual harassment investigation that eventually led to my bully being expelled within only a few weeks of my phone call with Mona Locke.  Soon I was able to sit down with Governor Locke and several representatives to tell them my story.  They began drafting one of the first bully bills in the nation shortly thereafter.  As the bill progressed, I was able to lobby for it in committee and contribute in other ways.  In May of 2002, within weeks of my high school graduation, Governor Gary Locke invited me to be part of a small group who attended the ceremony in which he signed Washington State's Bully Bill into law.
Having an adult in power like that, choose to take action and show me that I am valuable was an incredibly important event in my life.   To accuse Gary Locke of being out of character in his willingness to step up for a person crying out for help is simply wrong.  The fact is that his attention to an individual in need is completely consistent with his character and integrity as I have known it for more than a decade.
Having lived in Olympia, Washington for most of my childhood I was able to have many other interactions with Gary Locke and his family.  I went to school for many years with his nephew, who was much like him in that he was smart, quiet and caring.  I often saw Mona and their very young girls at events in the city.  More than that, I have at least one memory of Gary at a local supermarket.  He was still the governor when I saw him at a Safeway a mile or two from my home in the summer of 2003.  My young husband, Tim, and I were shopping, and headed home in the clunker car we had inherited from his mother.   As we arrived to our car and we saw Gary who was also leaving the store.  He wore a suit and tie, and carried his own groceries.  When he saw my husband struggling with the fact that we had locked our keys in the car, he stopped to ask if we needed help. 
Tim hadn't known who we were talking to till I ribbed him and whispered, "That's the governor!"  Immediately, his embarrassment at being locked out tripled and he started to fall over his words.  When Governor Locke asked if we needed help, Tim said, "No thanks sir, I do this all the time!"  Gary slapped my husband on the back, and laughed with him, immediately relieving the tension.  Gary said, "You know what?  I've done it a time or two myself." 
Within a second or two, under governor Locke's watchful eye, Tim managed to pop a door open somehow, and Gary walked to his car laughing and waving kindly.  The fact is that Gary Locke is just the type of guy, who buys his own groceries, and will stop to laugh with someone in a Safeway parking lot.  This is not part of a ruse.  This is not some act he puts on when he goes to China.  This is who Gary Locke is, was, and hopefully always will be.    If you enjoy this piece, check my archives here at addictinginfo, and follow me on Facebook!

What Role Does Your Child Play In The Movie, 'Bully?'

This weekend, the movie everyone should have heard about starts playing in theaters. No, I'm not talking about having some kind of bonding moment with your teenaged daughter as you watch Titanic in 3D. I'm talking about the other movie coming out this weekend, "Bully."I haven't seen it. I've only seen short clips of it because it isn't being aired here in the town where we grew the kind of hate that ties a gay man named Matthew Shepard to a fencepost. From what I have seen, I've been forced to fight back a flood of emotions. As I look at those five kids that this movie profiles, I am amazed by their bright eyes and minds. I am drawn by their lovable hearts. I am also reminded of the photos we've all seen, of children who found reason to hang themselves in lonely closets after the hateful treatment of their peers drove them to believe they were unlovable, unworthy, and unacceptable. With horror I remind myself to hug my child a little closer tonight.
I hear that there has been a debate about whether kids should even watch this movie, and I think that any parent who doesn't realize that their kid is already a character in this movie is blind to the ways of American society. This is reality TV at it's most powerful because this is reality TV being real. It seems to me that if this is the reality our kids are facing, it's our job to do what we can to deal with it. My kids are eight and six years old and are too young to watch a heavy PG-13 movie, but that doesn't mean that I as a parent can walk away from the opportunity it brings for conversation.
It is important to remind our children of all ages that this issue that they probably see every day, and maybe even become a little bit numb to, or accept as a given reality of their life, doesn't have to be that way. Unlike many other social issues of the day, this is the one that can, and will be, solved by our children. They cannot do this if we do not tell them that they have this power and give them the tools and responsibility to make things better.
As a parent, ask yourself, which role does your kid play? None of us wants our kid to be bullied, nor do we wish them to be a bully. I am at a loss for a definite answer as to how to help either of these kids, but I have a theory. What if we assume all kids are the kid who has the capacity to change the whole thing - the one who sits in silence? What if we give every kid the power to stop this dead in their tracks?
Studies have shown that it's the kid who watches but does nothing that can change the whole dynamic of a bullying situation by simply refusing to tolerate bullying behavior. It only takes one child to stand up for another and the tide begins to change. I'm suggesting that inside every bully, and every bullied kid, and every silent witness resides a righteous kid who is tired of this. If that kid stands up and refuses to allow hatred to rule, then our problem is solved.
Now stop. Think. Which kid do you want your kid to be? I say it doesn't matter who they were when they left school last Friday. It matters who you send them back as next Monday. If your child is old enough and you have access to the movie, consider taking the time and seeing Bully together. As you watch it point out to your kid that the fact is that there wasn't a damn thing about any one of these children, the ones who lived through it or the ones who didn't, that makes them deserving of this nastiness. No matter what your child's age make the expectations clear. Tell your kid that you are a grown up version of that kid who has decided to stand up and refuse to allow hatred to rule, and stand by that till you raise a kid who does the same each and every day.