When A Man Loves A Woman

I have been thinking about Ann Romney. I hate her politics. I hate the way she thinks about women, and poor people and I could go on... BUT - I think she is the missing, but all important, link to our understanding of Mitt Romney.  No debate question or answer shows us as clearly, as his treatment of his own wife,  how he feels toward women.
My grandma had MS. I see the strain of that kind of pain and distress on Ann's face regularly. I think of all the things my middle class family did to try to help my ailing grandma, when she was sick. I remember that when she died, there were scores of pairs of shoes in her closet and attic. Over the decades she had collected all kinds, in an effort to aid her in walking.

My grandfather, during the last years of her life, took off work early, every day, to be home with her for an early meal so that she could go to bed. He never once complained about the loss of pay or power. 
She was a tough lady, she didn't let life hold her back from the things she wanted to do. Before her illness got really bad, I remember her shooing moose and dear from her garden with a broom.  I also remember how Papa helped her with her love of arrowhead hunting, by pushing her wheelchair across the Red Desert. 
Even when Grandma could no longer talk, I remember her insistence, that the humming bird feeders be filled. She waved her good arm, and repeated that one word she could say - over and over... till Grandpa finally understood that they were empty.  I helped him mix his special ratio of sugar, water and red food coloring, then watched as he hung them in front of the window where she could see them. 
She never asked to hold him back.. but then, he never put her in the position where she had to.  He simply stayed with her.  She never asked him to take care of her, or work less hours, or give up anything.  I doubt anybody could have gotten her to do that.  Luckily, she never had to.  He just did it.  Without a word.  With love.
He wiped her colostomy bag. He used a special lift to dress her and put her in a chair or car or bed. He gave much of his extra income to nurses to keep her company while he worked. On his vacations, he called hotel managers weeks in advance, and asked them if they had beds that he could use Grandma's lift on. He found casinos with the handles on the slot machines positioned so she could reach them with her good hand. He convinced the local hair stylist to come to their home and fix her hair as often as she liked, because it was important to her.  In the early mornings, before he left for work, he'd check that her lipstick was straight, and that the elastic on her socks wasn't too tight.  That, is how you love a sick wife.
Mitt Romney's wife is ill too. It's a kind of illness that is difficult to see, but requires empathy and love and a life with minimal stress. It is not the kind of illness that would provoke a man who adores his wife to reasonably say, "Hey, honey, I know you don't feel great, but how do you feel about being First Lady?"
No, a rich man who has a wife with MS, he doesn't haul her to a white house.  He hauls her to a white beach. He pours her cool drinks. He bathes her forehead with wet cloths. He holds her shaking hands. He spends his money on the best medical care available, and he makes sure she doesn't suffer the stress of bright lights or public scrutiny. He makes her as comfortable and relaxed as he can, and prays for her comfort.
I am sorry, but in watching Ann's pained face at the second presidential debate, I felt nothing but empathy. She should have been home, in a cool bubble bath, with a loving husband ensuring she had a square meal. Instead, she was under hot lights on TV watching her husband selfishly (and fruitlessly) fight for power. She shouldn't have to ask for his care, and attention. Her husband should think of the priority of his devotion.  He should remember his the vows he has already taken, before he considers another oath.

This is not a matter of people who love their nation, selflessly sacrificing for it.  The Romneys have enough money to save our nation any number of other ways.  Imagine how many children could be fed, if they'd only pay a fair tax rate?  This is a matter of a power hungry man, who uses phrases like, "If we are going to have women working..." and suggests that single moms are sub-par while denying all women the right of reproductive freedom.

Y'all can clamor over comments about women in binders... but I saw a woman bound in that chair at that debate. Ann Romney says a whole lot to me. She says that even the woman Mitt claims to love the most isn't as important as the power of the presidency to Mitt Romney. If he won't help her, he won't do a damn thing for me... Or you.
If Romney can't love the most important woman in his life dutifully, he certainly won't care for the rest of America's women either.  I guess that makes the 51% of our nation, which happens to be female, just another group that Mr. Romney isn't concerned with in his quest for power.
~For more of my work please be sure to check my blog, my Facebook Page, my Twitter Feed, and my publication archives at OpenSalon.com and AddictingInfo.org.  Also, the days are counting down - Don't forget to VOTE!  The Bucking Jenny proudly supports Obama/Biden 2012.

If you enjoy my blog, the donate button is in the column at right ;)